Rab

Rab
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‘Rab’ likes to wear skirts, but being aware that this is somewhat socially unacceptable, he tries to restrict his wardrobe to kilts and aprons. He likes to sleep on a bed of ginger hair and he has a strange telephone in his house that he claims is his own personal hotline to God. He makes his calls just once a month, and usually around midnight after a single malt whiskey, at a time when even dancing cannot take away his longing.

He bears some horrific scars from a very traumatic episode of his life spent in an animal testing laboratory, where he was forced to sacrifice all his teeth. As a direct result of this, Rab has gained a peculiar Scottish accent that is so convincing that he decided to reinvent himself accordingly.

His preference for wearing skirts and his profound love of ginger hair, can be traced back to a wonderful early childhood as the beloved pet of a little girl called Lena. She would feed him biscuits, clothe him in her doll’s dresses, and let him sleep in her bed. He would nestle behind her ear and bury his small furry face into her ginger plaits. She never knew it, but he used to whisper little dreams into her ear all night long, followed by his own rat-kisses that were a lot like human kisses, but so light she could barely feel them.

Until, that is, her parents intervened. Concerned about the hygiene issues, they took it upon themselves to re-home Rab with a seemingly nice, intelligent professor from across town…