Lord Elgar

Click to view larger image
Click to view larger image

‘Lord Elgar’ is a pathological liar and social climber, but his voice is heaven sent. You can forgive his elaborate inventions and half truths, for his singing truly transports you to celestial skies. He will tell you that he led a life of luxury in Bainbridge Manor, where he sipped fine tea from bone china cups and listened only to classical music. That Lady Bainbridge would weep when she heard him sing and invite all her guests to gather around his golden cage for exquisite recitals.
But it is far more likely that he spent several months of trauma and mistreatment at the hands of a young boy named Max Yates. Max had a particular game that he frequently enjoyed; he would pretend to feed his new boring budgie to his preferred pet corn snake (Max had a dreadful sense of humour)
Eventually though he even got bored of this game, and dumped Lord Elgar outside in his back yard, next to a pile of burnt out tyres and some old deflated footballs. He would have died there in the mud and grime if it hadn’t been for a freak storm that opened his cage one night, releasing him into the terrifying darkness, and a sky full of bats.
Lord Elgar was so traumatised by this whole episode that he attempted to erase it all from his memory… adopting for himself a more favourable past. However all is revealed when he’s had a few cognacs and his accent suddenly scales the depths and heights of class and fortune.